In every one of us there is a part that is fearful of the world and seeks to protect us from dangers, urging us to hang back, be cautious, avoid risk.
In my case, that part is young and insists that I need to blend into the background, be so still that I make no ripples, let alone waves. She wants me to stay on neutral topics, sharing my opinions only if someone else has already voiced similar ones. She thinks my reliance on my intuition is a private matter. My exploration into energy work and my use of it professionally make her cringe because she knows I can’t entirely explain it in a logical fashion.
She prefers that I keep a generic demeanor, one that fits her idea of what a coach is supposed to look like, because she is afraid that someone will unexpectedly turn on me. If they do, she reasons, they will be aiming for the image I have been projecting. That may sting, but it can’t do permanent damage, the way it would if they were aiming for my heart.
In light of all of that, part of my work is to show that scared, apprehensive, small self that I am big enough, in the Whole of my Self, to stand up in the light and speak from my heart. It is my work to show her that if someone disagrees with what comes from my heart, she is still going to be okay. The approval of others is not a condition for me to do what I am here to do. What IS necessary, is self-acceptance, a willingness to know what is in my heart, and courage to be true to it.
Nourishing that self-acceptance and that courage is at the heart of the work that I do with many of my clients because that apprehensive, small self is the one that feeds the negative self-talk which keeps them from reaching for what matters. It’s the cause of the self-sabotaging patterns that destroy the opportunities painstakingly created. That frightened small self, in its efforts to be safe, is what keeps them stuck.
There’s a version of that small self in each one of us. So the question now is how is it holding you back? And, what are you doing about it?
